This Is Not Megatron!!!

A few months ago I posted that if Steven Spielberg s#!t on my childhood by releasing a wack live action version of the Transformers on July 4th, that I would find him and beat him up. Well information has been slowly leaking out about the movie, and from what I have seen it is about time for me to get back into ass beating shape. Somehow the filmakers on this project have ignored twenty-plus years source material and come with the foolishness you see on the left. Not only does this not look anything like any incarnation of Megatron, but they did not even make it look like a Transformer.

Since such disrespect has been shown to a franchise that a lot people my age are into, all bets are off. Below are some ideas I came up with to update some ideas for Hollywood consumption.

A remake of The Color Purple with an all Chinese cast set in Utah .

A movie version of Wonder Woman with Cuba Gooding Jr. as the lead.

In the next Batman movie, Batman should come out of the closet to get some of that brokeback money.

A new Rocky where he come back to fight at age 60 and...oh my bad.

An Aquaman movie with no scenes in the water or with him interacting with any fish

A Godzilla movie where he fights an evil super giraffe.

A remake of Brian's Song in which Gayle Sayers dies instead of Brian.

A re-telling of the Star Wars trilogy with ther Rebels characterized as terrorists.

Last but not least, Puerto Rican Superman.

I could go on like this all day, but I won't. Sony just released a restored double disc edition of the 1986 version of Transformers The Movie loaded with extras. If you are a fan check this out.