Oh S#it, They Made A Video For This!!!

This Is Not Megatron!!!

A few months ago I posted that if Steven Spielberg s#!t on my childhood by releasing a wack live action version of the Transformers on July 4th, that I would find him and beat him up. Well information has been slowly leaking out about the movie, and from what I have seen it is about time for me to get back into ass beating shape. Somehow the filmakers on this project have ignored twenty-plus years source material and come with the foolishness you see on the left. Not only does this not look anything like any incarnation of Megatron, but they did not even make it look like a Transformer.

Since such disrespect has been shown to a franchise that a lot people my age are into, all bets are off. Below are some ideas I came up with to update some ideas for Hollywood consumption.

A remake of The Color Purple with an all Chinese cast set in Utah .

A movie version of Wonder Woman with Cuba Gooding Jr. as the lead.

In the next Batman movie, Batman should come out of the closet to get some of that brokeback money.

A new Rocky where he come back to fight at age 60 and...oh my bad.

An Aquaman movie with no scenes in the water or with him interacting with any fish

A Godzilla movie where he fights an evil super giraffe.

A remake of Brian's Song in which Gayle Sayers dies instead of Brian.

A re-telling of the Star Wars trilogy with ther Rebels characterized as terrorists.

Last but not least, Puerto Rican Superman.

I could go on like this all day, but I won't. Sony just released a restored double disc edition of the 1986 version of Transformers The Movie loaded with extras. If you are a fan check this out.

Ummmm No!

I consider myself to be a fly individual but I understand that every trendy thing is not for me. That said there are some trendy things that are not for any man. One of those things is a man bag or murse. This is always unacceptable. If you need to carry anything else on your person other than your wallet, keys, or cell phone a purse shall not be used as means of transport. I does not matter who made it or sold it to you a purse is never to be carried. I don't care if you have to break out the old Jansport, if I see you with a purse you will be put on my list of suckas.

My case for Bo Jackson's entry into the NFL Hall Of Fame

Bo Jackson - Tecmo Super Bowl Run

As much as I love the new High Definition multimedia virtual football experience that is Madden 2007, there is no finer example of video game football than Tecmo Super Bowl. In this game the feature back on the L.A. Raiders was Bo Jackson. In real life Bo only played in 38 games over 4 seasons and in those 38 games he scored a total of 18 touchdowns which would not in anyway qualify him for the Hall Of Fame. In videogame land he was the best running back ever. (yes, even better than Emmit Smith in the Genesis version of Madden 95) The only only real world stat that would explain how much credit the programmers gave Bo was his 6.8 yards per carry he averaged his rookie year. For perspective LaDainian Tomlinson is averaging 5.2 this season, and he can't even hit a curve ball.

Redbone Of The Month October

I haven't given out the award for Redbone Of The Month in a while, because I want the award to go to woman who is not only good looking, but talented and classy. That is why this month's award goes to actress Paula Patton. I first noticed her in the movie Hitch, and more recently in the film Idlewild as Andre 3000's love interest. If you have VH-1 Soul, she is featured in her husband Robin Thicke's video for "Lost Without You". I really want to hate on this guy for taking this 10 off of the market but his album is pretty damn good, so I'll let it go.

Her next project is the Denzel Washington film Deja Vu. I predict this movie will be number one on it's opening weekend, and will bring in more than 100 million dollars. Why?, because Redbone of The Month Paula Patton is featured in the film.

Stop Paying Attention To This Whore

Now when I call Madonna a whore or hoe as the kids say, I am not suggesting that she sells her body for money because as far as I know that just isn't true. I'm implying that she will do anything for attention regaurdles of how stupid or offensive. On her recent tour she has decided it would be a cool idea to hang herself on a big shiny cross in the middle of a concert. A lot of people are very angry about this. I am not one of them, and not because I hate Jesus, but because I hate artists who try and make political statements in the midst of a song and dance number. I didn't come here for this, sing "Material Girl" and get the f#%k off of the stage.

I am also annoyed at religious people who want to make a big deal of this. Jesus was just the most famous person to be crucified, but understand crucifixes were the electric chairs of thier day. There were criminals crucified before Jesus and they kept doing it after. If Jesus was killed in modern times, rappers would be wearing platinum electric chairs around thier necks.

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